#8 - Death

So, this is my first Christmas without my father and it's been difficult at times. So, I thought this would be the best place to put all my bile and vitriol. Frankly, death sucks. I love Christmas, but in the long run, I keep going back to bitterness that my dad isn't here. I loved finding the next series of book to get him addicted to as his Christmas present and there was a definite hole in my Christmas shopping list because I couldn't do that this time.

I think back to last year when he was so sick and he still managed to cook Christmas dinner (because he was too stubborn to let us do it) but had to go to bed before we sat down to eat. I remember thinking something was horribly wrong, but not knowing what it was. And I remember the next day, when we spent the afternoon watching cooking shows together. I am glad I had that memory, but I'm still bitter that I didn't get to do that again this Christmas. I feel selfish, but I'm mad that there's a void where he's supposed to be. Death sucks.

#7 - Michelle Bachmann, possibly more of a tool than Chuck Norris?

Ok, so my posts are taking a decidedly political turn lately. Probably because some of the whacked out things being said really do piss me off. Hence, the next exhibit, Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann...



She now claims that Chris Matthews "laid a trap" for her... I'm not buying it.

#6 - Chuck Norris - Huge Tool

Yes, Chuck Norris is a tool. I do realize that a bunch of people have jumped on the Chuck Norris bandwagon and think it's funny to make up sayings about how Chuck Norris can drop kick a person at the same time he's preparing a tasty egg salad sandwich, but come on... That internet meme has been around way too long and it's long overdue to go gentle into that good night.

Ok, maybe we need one more Random Chuck Norris Fact.

FACT: If you look up the word "tool" in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of Chuck Norris.

And his fans have obviously not read any of his ramblings on WorldNetDaily. (Click on the link. I dare you...)

For anyone who is still not convinced, just watch this clip of Chuck Norris as the fill-in host for... wait for it...

Shawn Hannity.



I think I made my point.

#5 - Poor Shopping Cart Etiquette

Okay, here's the scene: A shopper is strolling down the aisle pushing their shopping cart in front of them. Suddenly, they spot something they want to take a look at--they push their shopping cart to one side and then step to the OTHER side of the aisle to examine the merchandise. The problem here, of course, is that they are now blocking the entire aisle! If you are shopping up the same aisle and need to get by you can only hope that maybe they'll drift out of their momentary reveries and notice you standing there. When they do they'll give that half-hearted and airy "oh, sorry" and move out of the way or maybe shift their shopping cart over beside them where it should have been the whole time.

I see this all the time and can't figure what goes on in their teensy little 10cc muttonhead minds. By pushing the cart to one side they must think they're doing the considerate thing, but then they block the aisle. WTF? Just keep the cart with you on the side where you are shopping, push it to the side--yes they got that part right--but then just past what you want to look at.

This is really not that difficult, people. Work it out, and stop blocking my aisles.

#4 - Gargoyle Park

On the way back home from a work trip today, the GPS listed a park in Olean with the best name ever.... GARGOYLE PARK

Needless to say, I just had to go there. So, a quick detour brought me to my destination.

I even have photographic evidence to prove Gargoyle Park really, truly exists... There's just one small problem.

NO GARGOYLES.

If you're going to name a park something as awesome as GARGOYLE PARK, you better damn well have some gargoyles somewhere. Even one would have appeased me. Come on, do you know how many people would come to see a park filled with gargoyles?!? Well, maybe just me, but instead I left disappointed...

Stupid gargoyle park...

#3 - Four-way stop intersections are not rocket science

Come on people! Four cars come to an intersection together, and we all have stop signs. The first person to get there gets to go first. Do not wave me on because you think you are being nice...I do not trust morons so I will not go. Go when it is your turn. Also, if you are the second car behind someone at a four-way stop...just because it is their turn to go does not mean some magic light that doesn't exist turned green and you may go too (without stopping at all).

Stop being idiots (PEOPLE OF CONNECTICUT HEAR ME) and go when it is your legal right to do so...not before and not after.

ugh.

#2 - People who wear pajama bottoms in public

I hate this so much. Seriously, there is just no excuse for this. It looks slovenly and it's not that hard to find some jeans.

Even worse, I've started to see people wearing slippers out in public. Unless you just went through foot surgery (and if you did actually have surgery, how are you already up and walking around Wegmans?), at least take the time to put on a pair of real shoes

#1 - The Title of This Blog

When I was in college, my friends and I had a list called 10,000 Things to be Pissed About. Basically, it was in response to the obnoxious book, 14,000 Things to be Happy About which is, according to Amazon, "the mesmerizing bestseller that celebrates all the little things that make life worth living." Yeah, one of those books... in the same vein of Chicken Soup for the Soul. I hate those books.

So, looking back I guess that means our list was 14,000 Things to be Pissed About. Obviously, the book is so annoying that I even got the title of the satire wrong since I tried to block it out of my mind. 10,000 is a better number anyways...

Anyways, we created our own list. Some were universal, others were more inside jokes. All were still entertaining to us. So, I decided to recreate this list and have invited my friends to join in. This is the result.

Which brings me to #1. I can't use 10000things.blogspot.com because someone already took it ahead of me. Even worse, they didn't bother to post more than just once... Dammit. I wouldn't be as annoyed if the site was being put to good use, but no, there it sits. With one lonely post. THAT'S FOUR YEARS OLD! Seems like the perfect representation for why this blog exists...