#8 - Death

So, this is my first Christmas without my father and it's been difficult at times. So, I thought this would be the best place to put all my bile and vitriol. Frankly, death sucks. I love Christmas, but in the long run, I keep going back to bitterness that my dad isn't here. I loved finding the next series of book to get him addicted to as his Christmas present and there was a definite hole in my Christmas shopping list because I couldn't do that this time.

I think back to last year when he was so sick and he still managed to cook Christmas dinner (because he was too stubborn to let us do it) but had to go to bed before we sat down to eat. I remember thinking something was horribly wrong, but not knowing what it was. And I remember the next day, when we spent the afternoon watching cooking shows together. I am glad I had that memory, but I'm still bitter that I didn't get to do that again this Christmas. I feel selfish, but I'm mad that there's a void where he's supposed to be. Death sucks.